25 novembro 2005

Dentistas

Meus amigos, eu não vos digo nada, tenho andado com uma dor de dentes brutal, mas mesmo BRUTAL. Tanto que tenho ido ao dentista para tratar de uma cárie que tenho num molar que nem vos conto nada, aquilo estava tão esburacado, tão esburacado que parecia o túnel do Marquês.

Mas há algumas coisas no dentista que não deixam de me intrigar.
Uma delas é esta: porquê que os dentistas falam connosco ENQUANTO estamos com aquelas coisas todas dentro da boca? Conseguem-me explicar isso? Conseguem? Enquanto estamos com o algodão, a broca, o aspirador de água, e sabe-se lá que mais? É que há que convir que não dá jeito nenhum uma pessoa falar com instrumentos de tortura na boca, a não ser que o homem nos esteja a dizer “CONFESSAS?, CONFESSAS?”. E depois acaba sempre por ser a o mesmo tipo de conversa: “Então e o emprego como é que vai? Vai bem?” (diz o dentista em pleno trabalho) ao que o paciente responde: “Hum, ain um einn gon eoo eeee eiein!” O que é perfeitamente claro. Mas o que mais me espanta é que eles até parece que percebem porque dizem normalmente “pois,pois, e a família?” “Hum, ain um einn gon eoo eeee eiein!” responde novamente o pobre coitado.

No entanto tenho de confessar que as duas últimas consultas que tive no dentista não me doeu absolutamente nada, e sabem porquê? Não apareci!

Não mas a sério, outra das coisas que me mete impressão são aqueles quadros com fotos e desenhos que eles têm expostos no consultório. Já repararam?

1. Cárie com 1 semana: “eh pá este dente até é parecido com o meu?”
2. Cárie com 3 semanas: “eh carapau...este gajo devia tar à rasca”
3. Cárie com 2 meses: “fo...-se!!”
4. Cárie com 5 meses: o gajo desmaia

E depois eu sempre me questionei sobre quem é que são os modelos para essas fotos? É uma Cindy Crawford do mundo hospitalar? Uma Linda Evangelista dos dentistas? Será que quando ela aparece numa reunião de dentistas os gajos ficam todos malucos.”Sabes quem é pá, sabes quem é??? É a Lulu Molar a gaja do poster no meu consultório!! Linda!!!” A gaja sorri e aparecem umas 40 cáries.

Ou será que os dentistas apanham um cliente a jeito e dizem: “sabe eu até podia tratar disso, mas vamos esperar mais uns 5 – 6 meses para eu ver a evolução disso, é que eu preciso de redecorar o consultório e acho que você tem uma cara perfeita!”

Outra questão: será que eles têm revistas tipo “O maravilhoso mundo da cárie dentária!”, “Incisivo!” ou mesmo “Playdente!”. E será que vão para a casa de banho com essas revistas....?

21 Comments:

Blogger amie said...

tens que experimentar um dentista que use bata pink psicadélico como o meu!
ah, e o teu não tem assim uns bonecos tipo estatueta que é sempre um gajo numa cadeira com as pernas no ar, com o dentista debruçado sobre ele a arrancar-lhe o dente?PURA AGONIA!
ps. a música ambiente do consultório do meu alterna entre a música cubana ou música brasileira!

15:59  
Blogger Juleca said...

por falar em dentista tenho de ir ao dentista!! beijinhossssssss g *

17:39  
Blogger Humor Negro said...

Dantes ia ao dentista e lá vinha o gajo falar para mim, como se eu pudesse responder-lhe... Lembrava-me sempre daquela cena do filme «Homem da Maratona» onde o dentista perguntava a um Dustin Hoffman de boca escancarada se «Era seguro?». Como o outro não lhe respondia pq não sabia de que raio estava o homem a falar e mesmo que soubesse não conseguiria responder, ia levando com a broca num dente de cada vez até a dentição se assemelhar a um emmental.
Depois mudei de dentista. Passou a ser uma dentista novinha e de olhos verdes. Só lhe via os olhos, hipnotizado... quase nem precisava de anestesia. E esperava que algum dia ela me perguntasse «É seguro?» para lhe responder que decidivamente não era mesmo nada seguro. Mas ela nunca perguntou...

01:18  
Blogger MIN said...

Andos nessas vidas!

14:27  
Blogger marco said...

oh pá eu nao gosto nada de ir ao dentista, se bem que é um dentista portugues e bacano, mas nao gosto

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